Good Intentions Gone Bad...
The content in this Chronicle and on this website is intended for adults, 18 years and older.
Good Intentions Gone Bad…
An R.L. Mathewson Chronicle
Author’s note about this week’s Chronicle…
This week’s Chronicle is not meant offend anyone or their religion it is simply inspired by two inconsiderate gentlemen who ignored a no solicitation sign and rang my doorbell early this morning while I’m suffering from a migraine and sinus infection. It’s also a thank you on behalf of both my kids who have sleeping disorders and were trying to sleep. I don’t care what your religion is, but don’t come knocking on my door early on a Saturday morning and try to shove it down my throat. I work late, get up early and work, and try to catch a quick catnap so that I can go back to work and take care of my kids.
So, this Chronicle is dedicated on behalf of overtired moms, dads, people with insomnia and those who work the overnight shift and everyone else, who bust their asses all week and just want a little rest on the weekend to recover.
Good Intentions Gone Bad
“Uncle Jason, there are two men at the door,” Johnny explained calmly, which he would admit freaked him out a bit, because when the twins were calm it was because they were already coming up with a way to fuck someone over for their own entertainment.
Basically they were Bradfords who’d peaked early.
“What time is it?” Jason asked, forcing his tired eyes open so that he could glare at the alarm clock until the fuzzy figures that he was seeing started to make sense.
“A little after seven-thirty,” Sebastian said with a devious smirk as he pulled the covers back for Jason while Johnny reached over and offered his hand, clearly letting him know that he needed to deal with this.
He was about to tell the boys to go back to bed, knowing that they must be as exhausted as he was when the doorbell went off. Frowning, because it was way too fucking early on a Saturday morning for anyone to be knocking on his door, he threw the twins a questioning look.
Sebastian shook his head, “It’s not the police, our lawyer or our probation officer,” he simply said with a shrug as Jason considered reminding him that the court appointed therapist was not his parole officer, but then he remembered who he was dealing with so he kept his mouth shut. Instead, he shifted his attention to Johnny.
“It’s not the neighbors, our parents, Aunt Haley and the kids or anyone else that we’re related to,” Johnny explained just as the doorbell went off again.
“Who the hell is that?” he asked, sitting up as he rubbed his hands roughly down his face, wondering why someone would be knocking at his door this early on a Saturday morning.
“We can take care of it for you,” Johnny offered, trying to keep a straight face while Sebastian simply smirked.
Knowing those smiles a little too well, because hell, he’d taught the twins those devious smiles, he got up just as the doorbell went off again. Stumbling a little as he headed for the stairs, not caring that he was only wearing a pair of sweatpants, he tried to figure out how many hours of sleep he’d gotten last night.
Two, maybe three? After the science convention in Boston that he’d taken the twins to, they’d decided to drive back home since the boys were eager to show their siblings and cousins all the new things that they’d learned. They got home around three, ate a late dinner, washed up and crashed. Now some asshole was demanding their fucking attention early on a Saturday morning.
It had better be good, he decided as he flipped the deadbolt on the front door, quickly disarmed the alarm system and threw open the door to find two men in suites standing there, with creepier smiles than the twins.
Were they getting accessed was his first thought, but the two men standing there, smiling creepily at him decided to explain their presence.
“Do you agree that the bible would stop all the wars and violence that is destroying our world?” the older one in front said in lieu of a good morning or an apology for waking them up.
Immediately he felt the presence of the twins flanking him and could practically feel their energy, desperate to get out and deal with these two pain in the asses.
“This book will stop everything bad going on in our world,” the older man said, shaking the small bible in Jason’s face to emphasize his words.
“Give them to us,” he heard Johnny whisper.
“You know you want to,” Sebastian added, and normally he would just shrug it off and leave the boys to torture the inconsiderate bastards, but then he remembered who he was.
With a smile of his own, he shifted to the side, taking the boys with him and gestured for the men to come inside. “Please, why don’t you join us?” he asked with an anticipatory smile that had the two men nervously swallowing as they shifted back on the front door step.
“We would love for you to join us,” Johnny said in a monotone voice that was beyond creepy.
“Please come in so that we can tell you about our master,” Sebastian added.
Deciding that he wasn’t going to be outdone by his nephews, Jason leveled his eyes on the men and said, “That’s a wonderful idea. Our master loves it when we bring him offerings.”
“Won’t you come in so that we can show you our Bible?” Johnny asked, apparently decided that he was not going to be outdone by anyone this morning.
Sebastian apparently took that as a challenge and cocked his head to the side as he studied the very nervous men standing on the front step. “You do believe in demonic possession, don’t you?”
With that, both men shook their heads frantically, stumbled down the steps and practically ran to the four-door sedan waiting for them at the end of the driveway, leaving them standing there while Jason debated the pros and cons of taking the boys out for pancakes.
Ah, well they had entertained him, he decided, gesturing for the boys to get dressed.
“Pancakes?” Sebastian asked, fully alert now that he’d fucked with someone’s head.
“Waffles?” Johnny asked, licking his lips hungrily.
Shaking his head, because the boys should know him by now, he said, “Both,” and headed up the stairs for a quick shower and a text to warn his cousins about the annoying bastards that would most likely be knocking on their doors in a few minutes and waking them up.
© Rerum Industries, Inc. 2016. All Rights Reserved.
Once again, no offense intended, but this was a story inspired by a mom with a sinus infection, two disabled children with sleeping disorders and absolutely no energy to deal with someone shoving a bible in my face early on a Saturday morning.
Hahaha been there. Exhausted and aggravated. Gotten up way to early by someone beating on the door and having a few Bradford twins around would have been nice
Awesome. Plain and simply awesome.
I LOVE IT!!!! My husband has done his fair share harassing peI please who knock on our door!
OMG!!!! Loved it loved it loved it!!!!!!
Thank you for writing a story that I’ve pictured in my head to deal w these type of people…
Been there… A growling miniature schanuzer (that sound like a Tasmanian devil)in your arms works almost as well ?. Sorry your sleep was interrupted but a cute story! Love your new book. Can’t wait for the next
Hahahaha…..something my boys would do…love those Bradfords!!
As a shift worker, I loved this. I tend to be a little more straight forward, 2 40kg snarling dogs.. and a doorbell that sounds.. recites “cry havoc, let slip the hounds of war..” anyone who can face them down is very strong in their faith, and their desire to force it upon others.
I take no offense. You are exactly right. I have had this happen to me many times and I check the door and don’t answer. Saturday morning is for resting. Give us a break.
Love love love!!!!!!!
Very funny…will have to try it next time my doorbell rings 🙂 hope you are feeling better and the house got a nap this afternoon.
I’ve had that happen. This was good!!!
Died. Laughing! Thanks for the great pointers!!
Loved it! The Bradfords kill me
Love it, can’t wait.
Awsome. A friend of my sisters saw them coming once, so he hurried to get in his house, stripped completely naked, then answered the door and had a serious conversation with the poor man trying not to look at his junk hanging in the breeze. I didn’t believe her when she told me all of this but apparently she filmed the whole thing with her phone. It was a little hard to tell because she was shaking the phone laughing but the butt was definitely bare. I have now put this on my bucket list.
No offense taken, people who knock on your door for that purpose are not polite. I need to teach my nephews to do that me.
I think we can all empathize with you on this. We’ve all been through it. Thank you for my Sunday dose of laughter.
I’ve always wanted to do that! We usually close all the curtains and hide. But then one day someone actually tried to turn our front doorknob. Thankfully, it was locked.
I used to work 3rd shift so I can empathize with this as the always came two hours after I went to sleep after being up since 5 pm the day previous. One day, I finally gave up all matters of politeness and said “I’m Catholic. I believe in heaven and hell. And if you don’t get f%$# off my property, I can grab my gun and send you to one of those places.” As they turned to go, I hollered for them never to come back and to remember we were in a Stand Your Ground state. (Ps- I don’t own a gun, I was just really pissy that they woke me up.)
Yup, i wasn’t classy at all. The bonus, they didn’t visit my house for a few years.
Okay, I don’t answer my door anymore. I do have my 2nd amendment rights covered, but I don’t trust ANYONE who knocks! You never know their intentions and since I’m usually alone….NO THANKS!! Love the idea here though….LOL
Omg. That was really good. I laughed to the point of tears.
Love it. So cute. I just finished reading the series and couldnt put them down.