Dangers of Being A Teenage Pyte: Part I

This couldn’t be happening, Marc told himself as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, trying not to move when all he wanted to do was make a run for it and never look back. He never should have left his door unlocked, Marc thought as he slowly exhaled, praying that he’d imagined it as he laid there, hoping against hope that this was just a dream.

Please let this be a dream.

Swallowing hard, Marc forced himself to open his eyes and-

“Mine!”

-grunted when the two-year-old determined to drive him crazy jumped on his back. Sighing, Marc reached over and grabbed the book that he’d been forced to read to her ninety-two times since Sunday and said, “Bunny book?”

There was an excited squeal, and then, Jessica was climbing off his back and settling in next to him. Resigning himself to spending the next hour reading about pink bunnies that were obsessed with hopping, Marc rolled over onto his back, sat up and sighed when Jessica quickly settled on his lap and yelled, “Bunny!” when he didn’t open the book fast enough.

“You’re a little bully,” Marc pointed out, kissing the back of Jessica’s head as he opened the book and felt a little more of his soul die as he started reading.

When he finished, he-

“More bunny!”

-sighed as he flipped back to the beginning and started all over again. He kept reading that damn book until, finally, Jessica was passed out in his arms. Careful not to make any sudden movements, Marc reached over and slowly, ever so slowly, placed the book that he fully planned on throwing in the fireplace, on his nightstand and waited.

When Jessica didn’t wake up, he slowly took his hand off the book and wrapped his arms around the demanding toddler and turned, carefully placing Jessica on the bed next to him. He didn’t bother trying to carry her back to the nursery knowing that she would just wake up and come back.

Once he had her settled on the bed next to him, Marc carefully tucked her in, reached over and shut the light off before laying back down and slowly exhaled as he closed his eyes and-

“Bunny!”

“Go to sleep,” Marc said, hoping that would be enough to get the bully to take pity on him.

“Bunny!” Jessica said, climbing over him and tearing another grunt from him as she grabbed the book and shoved it in his arms.

“You can’t be serious,” Marc said, sighing heavily as he reached over and turned the light back on, already knowing that she was dead serious.

“Bunny!”

He was never having kids, Marc decided with a sigh as he opened the book that he hated more with every passing second and started reading. He kept reading long past the point that he started seeing double and keeping his eyes open became a struggle. Definitely never having kids, Marc decided as he finished reading the book for the hundredth and tenth time and found Jessica fast asleep on the bed next to him.

Finally, Marc thought, biting back a sigh as he carefully placed the book down on the nightstand, turned off the light, and laid back down, praying the entire time that she finally took pity on him and let him get some sleep. His head barely had a chance to touch the pillow when he felt himself start to drift off only to wake up what felt like minutes later to the one word that never failed to terrify him.

“Pretty!”

Praying that he’d misheard her, Marc opened his eyes and found Jessica sitting on his bed with a huge smile on his face and bright green and blue fingerpaint covering her from head to toe. Really hoping that she didn’t do what he thought she did, he reached up and-

“Pretty!”

-resigned himself to going to school with bright pink hair.